Relationships
Closeness with people in your life
13+ questions · 12 min
This questionnaire asks the same nine short questions about different people in your life: people in general, your mother, your father, a partner and a close friend. For each, you get two results: how much you worry about closeness, and how comfortable you are getting close and relying on them.
Many people feel quite differently in different relationships, and that’s very common. You can skip the questions about any of these people if you don’t have them in your life or would rather not answer.
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What it shows
How much you worry about closeness, and how comfortable you are with it, in different relationships.
What it doesn’t
A diagnosis, a fixed ‘type’, or a judgement of the people in your life.
Who it’s for
This test may interest you if you’ve noticed patterns in how you get close to people, such as worrying that others will pull away, or finding it hard to lean on anyone. It lets you compare how you feel with people in general and with specific people in your life.
It can be a useful prompt for reflection, or something to bring to therapy or counselling. Some questions are about your parents, which can bring up strong feelings, so take it when you have a bit of quiet time.
Questions people ask
What does the ECR-RS measure?
It measures two sides of attachment in close relationships. Attachment anxiety is how much you worry that people close to you may not care or may leave; attachment avoidance is how much you hold back from getting close and depending on them.
Will it tell me my attachment style?
Not as a fixed label. Instead of putting you into a type, it gives you two scores for each relationship you answer about, and those can differ from person to person and change over time.
How long does the ECR-RS take?
There are 9 short statements for each person: people in general, your mother, your father, a partner and a close friend. Answering about everyone takes about 12 minutes, and you can skip anyone you don’t have in your life or would rather not answer about.
How is the ECR-RS scored?
Each answer is scored from 1 to 7. For each person, keeping distance is the average of six statements (four are worded the other way round and flipped first), and worry about closeness is the average of the other three, so both run from 1 to 7. There are no official cut-offs, so results are described in thirds of the range.
How often can I retake it?
About every six months, or after a big change such as a new relationship. These patterns tend to change slowly.
Who developed the ECR-RS?
Psychologist Chris Fraley and colleagues published it in 2011, and the questions about people in general were added in 2014.
Where it comes from
Developed by psychologist Chris Fraley and colleagues, published in 2011, with the general questions added in 2014.
Experiences in Close Relationships – Relationship Structures questionnaire
On iPhone or iPad?
Sprout is an app there too, and this link opens the test straight away if you have it.
Coming soon to the App Store