Relationships
Closeness in love
36 questions · 9 min
This questionnaire looks at how you tend to feel in close romantic relationships. It gives two results. One is how much you worry about being loved or left. The other is how comfortable you are with getting close and depending on a partner.
These patterns often start early in life, but they aren’t fixed and can change with experience. It’s about relationships in general, not only your current one.
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What it shows
Two sides of how you relate in romantic relationships: worry about closeness, and comfort with closeness.
What it doesn’t
A diagnosis, a fixed ‘type’, or a judgement of your relationship.
Who it’s for
This is for you if you’ve noticed patterns in how you feel in relationships, such as worrying a lot about whether a partner cares, or feeling uneasy when things get very close. You don’t need to be in a relationship now, because it asks how you tend to feel in general.
It can also be interesting to take alongside a partner and talk about your results together, as long as you both treat them as a starting point rather than a verdict.
Questions people ask
What does the ECR-R measure?
It measures two sides of how you relate in romantic relationships. One score shows how much you worry about being loved, rejected or left. The other shows how uncomfortable you feel getting close to and depending on a partner.
How long does it take?
There are 36 statements, and most people finish in about 9 minutes.
How is the ECR-R scored?
You rate each statement from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree), and some are counted in reverse. Each of the two scores is the average of its 18 statements, from 1 to 7. There are no official cut-offs, so results are described in rough thirds of the range.
Does it tell me my attachment style?
Not as a fixed type. It shows where you sit on two scales, and puts them together into one of four broad descriptions, such as ‘mostly secure’ or ‘close but worried’. These patterns aren’t fixed and can change with experience.
Is there a good or bad result?
No. It isn’t a diagnosis or a judgement of your relationship. It describes how you tend to feel about closeness, which can help you understand yourself and talk about what you need.
How often can I retake it?
These patterns tend to change slowly, so once every six months or so is plenty. It can be interesting to look back after a new relationship or a big change.
Where it comes from
Developed by psychologists Chris Fraley, Niels Waller and Kelly Brennan in 2000.
Experiences in Close Relationships questionnaire
On iPhone or iPad?
Sprout is an app there too, and this link opens the test straight away if you have it.
Coming soon to the App Store